I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
