Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
