I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
