he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
