mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
