we're blogging at a bar
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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