oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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