Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
this boner is exhausting
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
