she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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