You made me cry and you don't even care
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize