he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it's great music for shaving your balls
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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