i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
