Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize