we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
