do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
