so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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