she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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