I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
nutella sex= disaster
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
