Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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