just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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