I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
