Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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