I must be too annoying 4 u.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
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hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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