I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
