omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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