Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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