Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
