Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
