Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize