My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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