she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
