ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
