i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
