I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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