i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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