8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
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My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
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Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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