is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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