I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
