i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
