DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
