You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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