I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
