shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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