awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
