I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
