Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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