I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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