I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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