ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
