Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Let's paint friendship bongs
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
