I need help removing her.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
