you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
