your thong is hanging out like whoa
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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