My Higher Power is John Stamos
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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