This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
