I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So squirting runs in the family.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
