I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
