Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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