there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
