The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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