I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
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Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
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If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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