the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
