Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
