so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
