Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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