We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
how does that bad decision feel?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
