so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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